Yeah, yeah, I’m back. It’s been 9 months since I’ve written, but if you’re expecting something as miraculous as birth, you will be sorely disappointed. The main reason I haven’t blogged is simple: I don’t have much to say. The news is banal. Social media is a land populated by extremists who scare normal people back into their real lives. Trump is… well, he’s Trump. And the world keeps spinning.

I know. I sound grumpy, but I’m not. Not really. I think I’m just becoming older, and thus more set in my ways. I never liked change, but now I like it less. So the fast-paced-hurry-up-and-go-nowhere speed of the modern world isn’t appealing at all. I can remember sitting with my grandfather on his front porch in Omaha, Nebraska. He just sat there, doing seemingly nothing. Finally, my eight-year-old curiosity got the better of me and I asked him, “Whatcha doin’?” Surely there had to be more to life than sitting on a front porch doing nothing. “Counting cars. I’m up to 381 (or some other made up number).”

Counting cars. Grandpa was a genius. Rather than try and keep up with the world, and wear himself out, he took time to observe the world. He didn’t have to participate in every debate, although he definitely had some opinions. He didn’t have to put his two cents into every conversation. No. Sometimes it was enough to watch the cars whiz by, chasing each other to unknown destinations, always in a hurry. Watching and thinking. Thinking and watching. Counting cars.

So that’s what I’ve been doing, from a writing standpoint, these past 9 months. I’ve been counting cars. Like Grandpa, I take notice which ones drive too fast, or are too loud. So, as a true curmudgeon-to-be, I have made my list of unpopular opinions that I hold. Some may be humorous, but all are quite serious. So buckle up whippersnappers, feelings are about to get hurt.

1. Taylor Swift is overrated.
2. So is country music.
3. Memes are largely stupid, especially political ones.
4. Trump is not the best president.
5. Trump is not the worst president.
6. Sermon series based on movies and/or movie titles are usually bad.
7. Lawns are overrated.
8. The phrase “Church Discipline” has become an oxymoron.
9. Solo was a pretty good Star Wars flick.
10. The Last Jedi… not so much, but it has some merit.
11. Skinny jeans never look good on guys.
12. Cargo shorts are awesome. The push to take them away was started by women jealous of our pockets.
13. Sermons can be over 30 minutes if the speaker is good.
14. Sermons should be 15 minutes or less if the speaker is bad.
15. Sin is real.
16. So is the Devil.
17. So is Hell.
18. Fortunately, so is Jesus.
19. Millennials aren’t the problem. Culture is, and previous generations built our culture. So suck it up and do something about it instead of calling everyone a snowflake.
20. Blog posts with lists are highly overrated (but I got you to read it!)

Well there you go, now it’s back to counting cars for me. And stay off my lawn (or don’t. I don’t care. Lawns are overrated anyway.)